Silly Things We Say...Pt. II

I previously reported to you some phrases or words we say that we don't think twice about when we really should. I've got a few more to tack on to that list. Today will center around the few that I hear most often, whether it be at work or socially. I've even caught myself saying most of these before, so I've made the conscious effort not to repeat-offend. Here goes...

Please pay attention to what you're about to read, otherwise this could happen to you.

'On Sale' vs. 'For Sale': I hear the misuse of these phrases a lot. Most people in retail may know what I'm talking about. Let me paint the picture for you. A customer grabs an item that has a clearly marked label with a reduced price on it. He approaches you and asks, "Is this for sale?" It requires quite a bit of restraint on my part to refrain from saying one of several responses:

• "No, sir. That product is display only, and the price label is only a ruse. Now please go put that back before we both get in trouble."
• "No, sir. The manufacturer does not make that product in mass quantities in order to earn a huge profit. They make it simply because it's fun for them."
• "Yes it is, but that's because it's Tuesday. It's illegal to sell on days that don't begin with a 'T', so tomorrow you'd be shit-outta-luck."

"Is this on sale?" Why, yes it is...and thank you for the correct phrasing. There's not too many times where the opposite happens and it's misused. I can think of a possibility. Let's say someone puts their house on the market for potential buyers. I truly hope they say that their home is for sale, because if it's on sale, it's possible something seriously went wrong in that house. Whether it be toxic mold, crumbling foundation, or a family of 'carnies' was murdered there and their spirits remain to haunt you, it's probably not a good thing when a house is on sale. I hope that's cleared up even a little bit.

"...the guy told me I can't buy it because it's gender specific...

seriously, I thought that price label applied to everyone!"

"I could care less!": Really? When I gloat and rub something in your face and you tell me you could care less, I hope you realize you're admitting that some part of you is affected by it. Personally, it's not in my nature to brag, but if you really don't care, that's when you're supposed to say, "I couldn't care less!" With that statement, you're telling me that your very last concern is whatever it is I'm carrying on about. Nothing could make you more apathetic than the statement I just announced. When you could care less, you're showing weakness. You're not exactly committing to being uninterested. Either say the correct phrase or grow a pair...or both.

If Bart has to write it a thousand times to get the point across,

I'll see to it that he does.

"Nip it in the bud": I need to clear this one up as soon as possible, since some people think that before something bad happens, you should "nip it in the butt." Please don't do that. Especially in public. People can see you, they have camera phones that can digitally record a full-length feature film now, and there you are nipping it in the butt. Stop it. The correct phrase is nip it in the bud. What does that mean exactly? Well, the common use of this phrase is when you're telling someone to put an end to something in the early stage of whatever problem is happening to prevent it from becoming worse later on. The 'bud' is in reference to cutting a flower before it blooms. Nipping it in the butt sounds extremely invasive, and I know you'd come away with a nub if you even tried doing that to me. There's your warning.

This guy tried to nip it in the butt. Enough said.

"Facebook me!": Since when did Facebook become a verb?

• "My daughter is facebooking while she's watching t.v."
• "I facebooked him the other day to see what he's been up to."
• "I don't like giving out my number, but you should facebook me instead."

When did this become so commonplace? Is it really that difficult verbalize the act of using Facebook, so much that you have to abbreviate your sentences by saying that Facebook is something you can do rather than something many things can be done on?

• "My daughter is browsing through Facebook and is ignoring me when I talk to her."
• "I stalked him on Facebook to follow his every move."
• "I'll never give you my number because you creep me out, and you're lucky that I'd even let you look me up on Facebook."

Sounds more realistic, doesn't it? Yes. Realistic and logical. Please don't look at it as the verb form of Facebook being added to your vocabulary, because in that instance, your vocabulary is likely to be very limited in the first place. Use clear, thought-out sentences every once in a while. People may take you more seriously then. Maybe. I mean, come on...you can't fix stupid. You can only hope to alleviate some of the symptoms.

Well...when you put it that way, maybe it does seem less creepy.

...no, it doesn't. Creepy fits right along with stupid...can't fix it.

I hope you all learned something today. I could care less if you did, though. Wait...please don't facebook that.

D.