When you think of Santa Claus, what comes to mind? I'll bet the same image comes to mind for both children and adults alike. He's a jolly old fat man with a big white beard and rosy red cheeks. He wears a bright red suit with black and white trim, capped off with a conical soft red hat. A man that delivered toys to all the children in the world in just one night. The Santa Claus in this movie doesn't even come close to fitting that description. He's a tatted up, vindictive, disheveled old man that looks like your average angry Oakland Raiders fan/lifelong biker gang member. Of course his intentions are made pure by wanting to save the children from the Boogeyman, but is it really necessary to make Santa into some enormous administrator of justice? Suddenly he's the leader of a squad that is enforcing such aggressive actions upon one character with questionable motives. Don't you think your children are better off with the familiar visualization of the gift-giver we know so well? Your kids may develop a new found fear for motorcycles, homeless men or ZZ Top. Don't allow this movie to alter your child's vision of Santa; it'll make the 'Santa isn't real' conversation later on a little less confusing.
This makes him look evil. Why make replace the white with all black?
Even more frightening...why are his eyebrows black? Does he dye them? Weird.
The Tooth Fairy doesn't have quite as prevalent an image as the rest of these characters, but it's fair to assume that the average perception is that of an older fairy that carries a sack to collect teeth from under pillows, only to replace them with a small amount of cash that puts a big, toothless smile on a child's face. How does this movie portray her? Well it's some crazy cross between Tinkerbell and Mystique (of X-Men fame). It seems as though they are looking to sex-up the fairy's image. Why? This is supposed to appeal to children, which if you ask me, the only appeal would be the vibrant colors used throughout her figure. If that's what they were going for, then they succeeded, but that's about all. I'm not sure where a dentally fixated nymph fits in on the battlefield against an imaginary foe. Poor representation goes right along with illogical participation.
I think she scalped a peacock and cloaked herself in the remains.
I think the Easter Bunny is the most disturbing of the bunch. When you think of this creature, you likely imagine a tall white bunny with a giant smile, a basket full of colorful eggs, and tall, pointy ears. This is a positive picture of a figure that is responsible for giving children candy and chocolate on Easter Sunday. What does this Easter Bunny look like? Ever seen Donnie Darko? Many of us have, but there is an imaginary friend of the title character named Frank, who is a diabolical rabbit. If you aren't familiar, this is Frank. It's bad enough that Frank was the individual causing Donnie Darko to be a social menace, now you want to show kids that the Easter Bunny is a darker, more intimidating figure, not unlike the previously mentioned freakish man-rabbit. I'm not so sure kids are going to want to collect eggs if they could potentially contain some explosive material rather than the jelly beans and peanut butter cups they are expecting. They might even be afraid to look in dark places for hidden eggs, given there may be an evil bunny waiting in the lurk for them.
Why does he have a boomerang? He looks like he's going into battle in Australia.
Maybe a dingo ate his baby.
The next two have been given the opposite image adjustment, ironically. Jack Frost is usually given a cold, bitter image and is responsible for creating weather conditions that fit his persona. The Sandman is sometimes better known as being a Spiderman villain who uses giant loads of sand to inflict terror on innocent victims. The one in mind here is the mythical man that brings good dreams to children as they sleep. What did this movie do? Well they made the Sandman look like a closet sexual predator and Jack Frost looks like one of his potential victims. Neither one of them seems remotely intimidating at first glance, yet they're equipped with very strangely overwhelming powers to combat the Boogeyman. Your children will then worry about having a sandy Rip Taylor and a silver-haired Justin Bieber dumping sand and snow on them. Nobody wants that. Especially when they look like either of those creepers.
Deviants unite!!
As I said, you'll be saving your children from years of therapy by skipping this one. The plot is not even a concern when you see the way these characters are displayed. If you want to keep your children entertained, introduce them to a horror flick instead. I believe it would do less long-term damage to their psyches that way. At least they'd go into the horror movie seeing what they expected.
D.
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