First of all, I do pray that the people in the affected area face as little harm and destruction as possible. As Isaac gained strength while taking the same path as Katrina, it is completely understandable that those people would hit the proverbial panic button and go into an intense freak-out mode. The last thing that area needs is a few more steps back in the ongoing recovery from the devastation that took place seven years ago. Seven years ago to the day, no less. Pretty awful reminder, don't you think? So for that, Isaac...you're a dick. I know thousands of people would agree with me.
"As you can see in this graphic, Isaac is really being a complete dick.
He has no friends, and his parents don't even love him." - Weather Guy
A whole slew of people will acknowledge my findings based on their own experiences in the areas I've lived. The rest of you are the ones guilty of causing the mass hysteria in situations that are relatively harmless. Yea, I said it. Now apologize. Oh, you're going to be stubborn? Fine, I can wait...
...
...you are forgiven. This time. Anyway, I have gathered that not only are the methods to limit the inconvenience left by a major storm significantly different, but also the reactions and general mindset of people in the days leading up to said event. Allow me to elaborate.
In New York, life in general is always sped up. Everything is done at a higher pace because people are impatient, they have crap to do and they don't want anyone getting in their way. When the slightest hint of a raging hurricane or a potential blizzard is brought up in New York, life goes on without a hitch. The only real difference is that the companies that are responsible for the clean-up, restoring utilities and maintaining public safety are all on full alert and make the necessary plans to execute upon said event. Why? Because nobody's lives were going to stop simply because of a little rain or snow. When hurricane season came along, we were more often than not at a geographical advantage. Normally, these storms would reach their peak of heavy winds, rain and debris farther south, so we didn't have as much to worry about. Aside from our unlivable basement flooding every time, we typically lucked out and had next to no damage to speak of. I can't say the same for our next door neighbor, who was the unfortunate recipient of a dead oak tree falling onto his house and through his roof. Mom and Dad debated about whose house it would eventually fall on. Dad won that one.
This is a re-enactment. No homes were harmed in the filming of this event. Except this one.
Snow was another story. Kids are supposed to love snow. They know any big snow storm could result in school being closed and then, as long as you shoveled a path, it's a day or two of snowball fights, snowmen, making yellow snow...all that fun stuff. In New York, kids didn't so much as hate the snow, but rather the circumstance. It is the fault of great preparation that resulted in school rarely shutting down for inclement weather. Sometimes it seemed like it would require a combined fifteen inches of snow, an earthquake and a plague of cold-weather-tolerant insects to even see a two hour delay. The wish that the bus would break down at some point during the route was more likely to come true. I recall one storm in particular that dropped nine inches of snow overnight, and upon rising from our slumber, we quickly found out school was open and right on time at that. Needless to say, many kids came empty-handed as far as homework was concerned, but as the cruel school district and the teachers they employed would have it, the bad weather was no excuse. Damn you, snow plows. Damn you.
These people shared in my misery.
Now on to Virginia. I'm not even sure where I want to start. This state is in a state of its own: disarray. I have never seen such an extreme level of disorganization and frantic behavior when the mere suggestion of precipitation is announced. First we'll cover rainfall. Virginia drivers are not the worst, by traditional standards. Using a process of elimination, they're far from the best, but that's beside the point. Traffic is usually nice and steady when it needs to be (with the exception of rush hour, but that traffic is everywhere). God forbid the sky turns a little grey, and a few drops of rain hit the windshield, these people go full-retard. Forgive the terminology for those who are a little sensitive, it's only one of the greatest terms from a movie ever. At first, they're driving at or just barely above speed limit, as it should be. Introduce rain, and everyone forgets where the gas pedal is. These imbeciles need to just keep a safer distance from others, not pump their brakes into a slow crawl. It's bad enough that we're trying to get home safely because the rain is reducing visibility just a bit; now we have to actively avoid the morons that never learned to drive in bad weather. Then you say the word 'hurricane', and paranoia instantly sets in. Everyone immediately goes out and buys a thousand bottles of water, fifteen flashlights, some kerosene and whatever generator they can get their hands on so that they can safely hibernate when the wind blows six leaves and a tree branch down their driveway. Given that Irene did hit the majority of the east coast pretty hard, it was nothing compared to the likes of Katrina. Here's what people need to do: learn how to operate a vehicle in rain and be less of a lunatic when major storms are coming. As long as you refrain from being an idiot, you'll live.
Never go full retard.
If you thought rain in Virginia was bad, I dare you to say the word 'snow'. Remember how I talked about New York and how they rarely closed school, work...pretty much anything? Yea, well...the threat of snow has been the reason schools have closed down here. The possibility that some little white flakes could hit the ground has caused businesses to close up shop. Here in Virginia, snow is feared exponentially more than anything...including bigfoot! Hard to believe, I know, but it's true. People do the same impulsive 'emergency kit' purchasing that they do for hurricanes, but then they hibernate for three or four days because of the cold, white, foreign substance that's piling up on the lawn. Then there are the buffoons that go driving in the snow with no concept of how. Listen folks: I've got a car that doesn't handle well in the snow, so I do what's best for myself and everyone else around me...I stay at home unless it is imperative that I go somewhere. Just because you have four-wheel-drive does not mean you will stop any easier on slick roads. You're putting yourself and others at risk of being cold and miserable as you wait for roadside assistance to finally get to your dumb ass.
"Hey mom, I just wanted to call to tell you I went full retard.
You told me to stay in, and I went driving anyway.
Don't blame yourself, I pull off 'stupid' well enough on my own."
The only thing that's left to cover is the media coverage of these weather systems moving through. These meteorologists (a fancy word for 'worthless douche standing in front of a green screen, reading a teleprompter and wearing a fancy suit, horrible hair and a smug smile that doesn't know jack shit about weather other than what the computers predict for them'...I guess meteorologist is easier to say) are one of the main reasons people panic so badly. It's easy for them to calmly tell everyone a big storm is coming when they're comfortably in that t.v. studio. They use terminology that sounds intimidating to the average putz, and that's what gets everyone nervous. Like the title suggests, they're not weather men, they're weather sissies. Notice that every time there's a report from the field where it just happens to be raining or snowing its ass off, they send a lowly reporter, likely expendable by the station's standards. They don't send these prissy well-dressed guys out there for fear of their rock-solid 'fro getting messed up at all. Weather sissies should be required to wear tutus on camera. Maybe then, people will take them as seriously as they should be. Get a real job, guys.
"It looks like we have a cataclysmic super-hurricane coming our way,
followed by a 80% chance of Godzilla. Remember your coats, folks."
D.
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