Things we hate...sort of...

It's funny when you think about how there are things in our lives that we absolutely, positively cant stand...sometimes. Somehow, we all remain impartial on things based on certain requirements or conditions. We make exceptions for things, even when we tell people, "Oh I hate that!" and "I don't do that!" I do it. You do it. We all do. Denial is futile. So here I am saying to myself and all of you...way to commit! Some of the examples I'll give don't necessarily apply to everyone. I'm sure most of you can relate to at least one of them, though. Even if you can't relate, you must know someone who does. If that's still not the case...please crawl out of your hole and introduce yourself to the general public. It'll do you good.

The first one I can't personally relate to, because I don't smoke. More than once, I have heard people tell me that they only smoke when they drink. They claim that the mere sip of alcohol induces a craving for nicotine. Then they tell me they're not smokers. So because you don't do it on a pack-a-day rate, you don't call that being a smoker? What kind of fraudulent crap is that? It's either you smoke or you don't, period. That's like saying you wash your hands only after taking a dump. That's not how it works, you either do or you don't. Now go back in there and wash your damn hands, jackass. Anyway, if you feel any shame in being a smoker, maybe that should be extra incentive to quit. Otherwise, puff proudly and say you're a social smoker (...sex is not the only thing they taught in health class, most of us just weren't paying much attention to the rest). There's no shame in that.

"Lou, can I ask you to please put out your cigarette?"

"No, I like to smoke when I drink."

What about the rain? Rain is something I can always be on the proverbial fence about. I hate it when I'm driving, but I love it when I have no plans. I hate it when I'm spending time outdoors, but I love it when it breaks the humidity. I hate it when I just finished washing my car, but I love it when I haven't washed it in weeks. Basically, I (like most everyone else) hate rain at my own convenience. Hell, today the rain got me out of cleaning out the inside of my car. The Scotsman can attest to that (see "Do you work out?" for original Scotsman reference). I'm more of the 'precipitation optimist', if you will. I like the rain more than I dislike it. It gives me more reasons to sit back and relax, take care of the in-home chores, catch up on movies and reading...the stuff I don't get to do when I'm running all over/doing errands because it's 'nice out'. For those that say they can't stand the rain no matter what, just think about that the next time your life partner asks you to mow the lawn or go to a craft fair with them. In that equation, rain equals victory. You can thank me later.

Not my first choice for reading material, but perhaps Donald has had enough of Disney's crap.

One for all the rockers out there: Van Halen. The debate here is not simply whether you like the band or not, but rather liking them regardless of who is the lead singer at the time. If you skim through the link provided, you'll see there was a 'changing of the guards' on more than one occasion, but we'll focus on the David Lee Roth era(s) and the Sammy Hagar era(s). Some people (including Joe Dirt) only like Roth as lead singer, referring to his absence as 'Van Hagar'. The one undeniable fact is these men are two completely different singers with a major contrast in style and sound. When you place them in front of the same band, there will be a distinct separation because of their voices alone. What's my take on it? I believe there are songs that David Lee Roth does not sound right singing, and the same goes for Sammy Hagar. It's not that one singer sucks more than the other, they just carry their own songs better. As much as I like me some Joe Dirt, he's got this one wrong.

The metrosexual rock stars accepting the award for "Best Couple That Looks Gay And Somewhat Homeless, But Are Not Gay, Yet Could Possibly Be Homeless"

These are just a few that I could come up with off the top of my head. I know there's more, but today's been a long day. I'm tired, that's all I've got. If you can settle on something, please do. No one likes anyone that flip-flops (see John Kerry, aka Herman Munster).

...coincidence? I think not.

D.