Swimming Sounds

Another short one today, minions. Long, grueling work days/weeks, limited patience and decreased motivation are the only other reasons aside from continuing my eventual editorial vent-session on religion that have made my most recent ones so brief.

Flying colors.

So I was talking to my buddy Eddie, previously mentioned and praised in a previous post, when he informed me of a crucial accounting exam he took yesterday. Like most people, he feels uncertain of how well he may have actually done. I get it...I'm the same way. I don't ever want to assume I aced one, only to be gravely disappointed when I find out I didn't. Some may see it as encouragement, but when I assured him he must have done better than he thinks, I know he did because I am familiar with his work ethic and level of intelligence; I'm basing it on facts and observation. After stating that he hit the "exam's hypothetical face" with his "pimp hand", that's when I created a phrase of my own that I would like to share with you. Here is the word-for-word message I sent his way about passing the exam:

"Judging by your track record, I'm sure you did with swimming sounds ('flying colors' is way overused, getting sound to travel thru water...fucking impressive)."

So let's delve into this common phrase, shall we? To 'pass with flying [colours]' is to be victorious or to have...

Borat definitely says it best.

It is in reference to the flag raised on a ship, and how their journey/voyage was profitable, whether it being a simple mission to arrive at a desired destination or victory in battle. Either way, it was determined that their flag was raised in a manner of assurance that they were successful. That makes plenty of sense. There is no disputing that fact, given the logical origin of the phrase itself. So why is it that we all use it without understanding its meaning? Until I just told you, most of you were likely left to assume the meaning. Without that explanation, the phrase makes little sense. It's not as though passing a test has anything to do with someone flinging a gallon of paint into the air. There is no correlation between doing well in a class and the appearance of a rainbow. From there, we were left to wonder.

This is not what I mean by flying colors. This is also not art.

These are stupid hippies with no life agenda and too much time to waste.

Maybe it's just me, but I feel that the phrase is way outdated and overused. That's why I came up with the idea of passing with 'swimming sounds'. Think about this concept for a minute. Sounds travel much faster in less dense environments. Sound travels by air rather smoothly. It may not be as quick as light, per se, but it still moves exceptionally fast. Water doesn't exactly cater to the movement of sounds so easily. There are special advances in technology and underwater instruments used to better record/register sound waves through water. Ever been in a pool with some friends, a couple of you dip your heads below the surface of the water and then you try to communicate to one another? Pretty hard to understand the other person, isn't it? I don't see this phrase as a replacement for 'flying colors', but rather a suggested substitution. Flying colors is more about simply being successful. My new phrase places the emphasis as to how successful you would be. Anyone can raise a flag out of general/personal pride. I'm not slighting that practice, by the way...you have every reason to be proud. My thinking is this: if you can get sounds to 'swim' through the water, you would accomplish quite the impressive feat. You didn't just pass the test, you made it your proverbial bitch. That's much more satisfying than a simple display of pride.

In the right context, I will be using my new phrase from now on instead of 'flying colors'. I encourage you to do the same. Just remember the man that introduced it to you.

D.