Cee Lo in Gnarls Barkley - Crazy
Cee Lo as a judge on 'The Voice'
I'm sure you've at least heard that song in passing at some point. I have, and it's so catchy, I can't possibly hate it. As far as his role on that other miserable version of a talent-search show, it's just a sad attempt to stay in the public eye in every way possible. Can you blame the guy for enjoying his celebrity and wanting to further it any way he can? Absolutely not, but why would you settle on such a horrendous show like that? The judges on these 'reality' travesties are typically (that's right...typically...I didn't say all) artists who are well beyond their prime, don't know when enough is enough, and are desperate to be famous for just a little bit longer. This guy has plenty of qualities that people everywhere enjoy, whether it be his voice range, his humor and quirkiness, his sense of style...whatever. He's got enough going for him between all that and the hit singles he has come out with that he shouldn't need to lower himself to that level. Here's the really sad part: that's not even his worst career choice. At least in my opinion.
This is just downright ridiculous.
Okay. How many levels of atrocious does this cover? Let's find out, shall we?
First of all, the song that this audible filth was derived from is 'Blitzkrieg Bop' by The Ramones. I'm not going to get into whether or not I'm much of a fan of The Ramones; it's just not a crucial element to this bitter rambling of mine. The song in its original form is way overplayed and catchy at best. It's not to say that it was talentless or unoriginal, but nowadays it gets used far too often and receives far too much acclaim for a simple tune that barely exceeds two minutes in length. Next, let's consider that Cee Lo and The Ramones are in two completely different musical genres, ones that don't really mix well. Upbeat vs. moderate pace, rock with angst vs. pop with humor, and classic vs. modern. They clash like apples and turds. Unless you enjoy turd-apple pie, you must get my point. If you do, please don't breathe near me...ever.
Looks appetizing, huh?
Alright, so they went ahead and made that combo happen. It's bad enough that he sounds terrible singing this song, but then they change the words to gear it towards football. Think of the technology the entertainment business possesses. Think about how they could quite easily reproduce the Ramones singing their own song in a modern setting by means of CGI and a green screen. They could even do that without changing the song in any way, other than editing it to fit the football theme. Have it cut to the fans in their jerseys and makeup screaming, "Hey Ho...Let's Go!" That won't take away from it one bit. When you choose someone to do it simply because they are popular in today's society, you're obliterating any credibility or general interest in their rendition of the song. Finally, the only other thing to cover is why Cee Lo in particular? This chubby bastard likely never played a second of any competitive athletic activity in his life, making it tough to buy into his interest in football by any means. When money and music are your only two motivations, and the NFL Network is willing to hand you plenty of one to perform the other, I guess it really wouldn't matter for what event it's the theme song. He got paid, that's all. Hell, it could have been the theme song to a televised Canadian curling league; as long as the money's right, he doesn't care.
Once again, a lot of this is easy to say while I sit here in my living room, but this is just something that shouldn't have to be inflicted on anyone's eyes or ears. When I sit down to watch Thursday Night Football, I am sure to change the channel for the duration of the theme song, and I try my best to ignore the mini-clips during commercial breaks, halftime or whenever else his goofy head pops up. I just pray they reconsider their choice for the years to come.
Maybe they'll sign someone like Phil Collins to sing 50 Cent's 'In Da Club'. Perhaps Jimmy Buffett can give his version of Drowning Pool's 'Bodies'. Those can't be any worse than what we currently have to put up with.
D.
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