9.09.2014

The Creepiest Man In South Carolina

There is no question in my mind about this. There is no debate. Of all of the men in South Carolina (not including those currently behind bars or in an asylum), I have met the #1 creeper this state has to offer. I exclude those imprisoned simply because the majority of them are creepy enough as it is, yet if I'm lucky, I'll never have to cross paths with them. Based on this man's actions and comments, I'm a little surprised this man hasn't ended up in prison himself. Maybe he was just released...

I digress...

Allow me to set the scene for you:

   - I was working at my second job, in self-checkout at a grocery store.
   - All self-checkout registers were open and I was walking to the front aisle to see if there were any customers with just a few items, any loose baskets, to straighten out any messy shelves nearby, etc.
   - The store was not very busy, so the front aisle was not swarming with customers.
   - A man around 70 years old, give or take a few, was rolling toward me in one of those motorized seated shopping carts (in all fairness, he looked like he actually needed it, he wasn't just some fat, lazy slob...that's a discussion for a future post).
   - He was about 15-20 feet from me, and he waved to grab my attention, and so it began...

(This guy is checking out apples...the creeper I met was checking out apple bottoms...)

Here was our brief, yet flabbergasting conversation:

D: Did you need help finding anything?
Old Man: I already found it...
D: Oh really? And what's that exactly?
Old Man: Do you know what a Brazil butt looks like?
D: Yes, I'm familiar...
(He proceeds to describe one anyway...)
Old Man: It's one of those butts that you can sit something on top of, just like a shelf. Really round and big...very nice.
D: I understand sir.
Old Man: There's this girl shopping here right now, she's got one for sure. I've been following her around the store.

[Pause: this man literally admitted to me that in no uncertain terms, at least for the duration of his and her shopping visit, that he was stalking this poor woman. I was already uncomfortable at that point. It gets worse...]

D: Oh...I gotcha...
Old Man: Keep an eye out for her...I'm sure she's coming. You'll see.
D: I'm sure I will.

[The old man then turns down one of the aisles, and just before he was completely out of the front aisle, he stops abruptly, looks across the store and then looks back at me very excited...]

Old Man: There she is! There she is! Make sure you get a good look!

So this guy slowly creeps forward down the aisle, and I figured it was over at this point. The woman walks by, and to be quite honest...not nearly as advertised, but that's beside the point. What I couldn't have predicted was that she would turn down the same aisle as him. She walked past him completely unsuspecting of his creepish behavior, and he looked back at me, smiled, and continued to follow her.

I have no way of knowing how long he had been following this woman. It's possible this man even followed her from another location to the grocery store, but who knows? All I can say is that was sketchy as hell and I pray for that woman's safety. She had no idea she could have been sexually assaulted by Bad Grandpa that day.

Now looking back at the facts, somebody out there may think that was really rather harmless compared to what could have taken place, or that they know of another instance that was even worse than what I described. If you saw it from my perspective, you'd be thinking of the age, the motorized shopping cart, the evident excitement, the clear intentions, and the outspokenness of said intentions make this man insanely creepy, especially since it was all in public. If anyone reading this can match or beat this dreg of society, I welcome you to share your story with me. I'm always up for some high quality entertainment.

Alright, time to go research for future posts (a.k.a. people watching...a.k.a. work).

D.

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