The Reamer Concept

Just to clarify, there is no typo in my blog title. It's an insiders' play-on-words, so I will attempt to make sense of the 'reamer concept' for my readers.


I would have just linked the urban dictionary definition for you, but in case you're unfamiliar with their entries, there are some foul, crude, downright filthy interpretations of (un)common slang, including their version(s) of reamer. For those with a sick sense of humor and overwhelming curiosity, feel free to take a peek. For the rest, I was introduced to the 'reamer concept' during my freshman college days, and it has taken on entirely new meanings through the years. Here's a brief rundown:


Reamer can be a very versatile word. Typically, it is used to describe a particular person or a particular feature of said person, usually a male (this is not meant to exclude women, it's just that men seem to better fit the description because more often than not, they make worse life choices...just saying). During many bouts of people-watching, it can be used to point out a certain person's self-imposed flaws. A mullet is a perfect example. If you crossed paths with Billy Ray in public, one could say:

"Damn dude, look at the hillbilly reamer that guy's got!"

Facial hair and it's (lack of) maintenance is also subject to this description. I would post a second descriptive picture, but luckily Billy Ray was kind enough to provide us with both in this one, to which your friend could reply:

"Yea man, and a razor could really do that reamer some justice too."

Sometimes it's as simple as a wardrobe choice gone horribly wrong, and to describe the outfit just simply will not suffice. That is when the person in question then becomes the reamer.

Honestly, this needs no caption. Richard Simmons transcends almost every variation of reamer you could come up with. I narrowed the choice of photo down to either him or Elton John. Want to know the biggest difference between the two of them? I respect Elton John for possessing legitimate talent. Simmons had the same fat women on his workouts from beginning to end, yet none of them showed a shred of improvement. It was Simmons' eccentricity and aggravatingly flamboyant lifestyle that made his fame last. People fell for it, period. He sucks, and that's what makes him a reamer. That, and his fashion sense.

These are the more frequent uses of the term. There are plenty of more tame, in-passing ways of describing someone or something as a reamer:

A comedian

"That's one funny ass reamer!"

A terrible waiter

"I asked that reamer for some more sweet tea like ten minutes ago, where the hell is he?!"

A teacher/professor

"This reamer doesn't even know the subject he's attempting to teach..."

To sum up, in this context it's an easy replacement noun, almost like a pronoun that only you and those associated with you realize who/what you're pointing out. Many of your average eavesdroppers will have no idea what you're talking about, which can be an added bonus: leaving dullards in suspense.

You can also use it to emphasize how pointless/annoying/lame something is.

"We're indoors; why is he still wearing that reamer scarf?"

"I wish this guy would stop rambling and carry his reamer ass on out of here."

"I can't sit through another minute of this reamer Ben Affleck flick, he's terrible!"

There are many applications for this term, and as far as I'm concerned, the future possibilities are endless. So feel free to play around with it, see what you can come up with the next time a life situation fits the context.

Reamer, out.

D.