The Creepiest Man In South Carolina

There is no question in my mind about this. There is no debate. Of all of the men in South Carolina (not including those currently behind bars or in an asylum), I have met the #1 creeper this state has to offer. I exclude those imprisoned simply because the majority of them are creepy enough as it is, yet if I'm lucky, I'll never have to cross paths with them. Based on this man's actions and comments, I'm a little surprised this man hasn't ended up in prison himself. Maybe he was just released...

I digress...

Allow me to set the scene for you:

   - I was working at my second job, in self-checkout at a grocery store.

   - All self-checkout registers were open and I was walking to the front aisle to see if there were any customers with just a few items, any loose baskets, to straighten out any messy shelves nearby, etc.

   - The store was not very busy, so the front aisle was not swarming with customers.

   - A man around 70 years old, give or take a few, was rolling toward me in one of those motorized seated shopping carts (in all fairness, he looked like he actually needed it, he wasn't just some fat, lazy slob...that's a discussion for a future post).

   - He was about 15-20 feet from me, and he waved to grab my attention, and so it began...

(This guy is checking out apples...the creeper I met was checking out apple bottoms...)

Here was our brief, yet flabbergasting conversation:

D: Did you need help finding anything?

Old Man: I already found it...

D: Oh really? And what's that exactly?

Old Man: Do you know what a Brazil butt looks like?

D: Yes, I'm familiar...

(He proceeds to describe one anyway...)

Old Man: It's one of those butts that you can sit something on top of, just like a shelf. Really round and big...very nice.

D: I understand sir.

Old Man: There's this girl shopping here right now, she's got one for sure. I've been following her around the store.

[Pause: this man literally admitted to me that in no uncertain terms, at least for the duration of his and her shopping visit, that he was stalking this poor woman. I was already uncomfortable at that point. It gets worse...]

D: Oh...I gotcha...

Old Man: Keep an eye out for her...I'm sure she's coming. You'll see.

D: I'm sure I will.

[The old man then turns down one of the aisles, and just before he was completely out of the front aisle, he stops abruptly, looks across the store and then looks back at me very excited...]

Old Man: There she is! There she is! Make sure you get a good look!

So this guy slowly creeps forward down the aisle, and I figured it was over at this point. The woman walks by, and to be quite honest...not nearly as advertised, but that's beside the point. What I couldn't have predicted was that she would turn down the same aisle as him. She walked past him completely unsuspecting of his creepish behavior, and he looked back at me, smiled, and continued to follow her.

I have no way of knowing how long he had been following this woman. It's possible this man even followed her from another location to the grocery store, but who knows? All I can say is that was sketchy as hell and I pray for that woman's safety. She had no idea she could have been sexually assaulted by Bad Grandpa that day.

Now looking back at the facts, somebody out there may think that was really rather harmless compared to what could have taken place, or that they know of another instance that was even worse than what I described. If you saw it from my perspective, you'd be thinking of the age, the motorized shopping cart, the evident excitement, the clear intentions, and the outspokenness of said intentions make this man insanely creepy, especially since it was all in public. If anyone reading this can match or beat this dreg of society, I welcome you to share your story with me. I'm always up for some high quality entertainment.

Alright, time to go research for future posts (a.k.a. people watching...a.k.a. work).

D.

Thoughts on Déjà Vu

Everyone has had it. Nobody can explain it.

Go ahead, science. Tell me how experiencing this phenomenon makes me believe I've been there, done that, or seen it before. Tell me how my brain is producing some image of something that I will do in the distant future, but I will not remember it until the moment it happens. Even if you could rationalize some chemical reaction that results in such a strange occurrence, find a way to convince me that this particular event, Déjà Vu, makes any sort of logical sense.

"Whoa" indeed, Keanu.

Déjà Vu - n. - the feeling that you have already experienced something that is actually happening for the first time. (Origin - French adjective, literally translated "already seen")

That shit's straight out of Merriam-Webster, dog. Then through my limited research (because I'm not really looking to delve into the concept of déjà vu all night on a Friday...I do have a life, surprisingly), there are several theories I've read about, but ultimately, that's all they are...theories. The only fact you can derive from it is that it has been experienced by many. This is not an unfamiliar thing to the general public. Given, it's also not something that happens on such regularity that a person can't go a day without thinking, "Damn, hasn't this happened before?" Even if that is the case, that's an extremely rare case, and I'd still be willing to call "Shenanigans" on the truth-stretcher in question. I'll be glad to inform said poor soul that having consecutive bad days at the same crappy job does not constitute having déjà vu. That's called "life". Also, we don't live in a real life version of Groundhog Day with Bill Murray. He'll tell you it doesn't actually work like that either.

Here's Bill holding the second cousin of the Caddyshack gopher.

With all of this said, I would rather discuss my own profound thoughts on this topic. Whether you find them to be profound or not is entirely up to you, but I had a sort of mind-blowing moment the last time I experienced déjà vu. I might as well jump right into it now.

First of all, one of the debates that should immediately draw our attention is the origin of the occurrence itself. Think about it: we are literally experiencing something in real life that we truly feel we have done before. The exact place, time, environment, people...every little detail is so precise that the fact that you recognize it is rather incredible in itself. So how is it that we are recognizing something that you can honestly say you have only physically experienced at that moment, yet mentally you visualized it sometime in the past? One could surmise that the sheer repetition of some everyday activity resides in your memory and eventually it becomes your mind's idea of what could take place, although it's hard to believe that it would only be coincidence if it actually happened. So I'm already going to rule that out.

The next thing to consider is the possibility of premonition. Is it so hard to believe that we all possess some sort of sixth sense, no matter how minute in nature it may be? Clearly I'm not talking about seeing dead people or even possessing psychic capabilities, but I don't find it too far-fetched to have a mere glimpse into the future for even a few seconds every once in a great while. Look at it this way: have you ever had a feeling in your gut, a hunch that something, some random event, would take place, such as bumping into an old friend or receiving a phone call from someone you haven't heard from in a long time...and then it came true? How much different is that really? We're also not talking about constantly having these moments that are life-altering in any way. I can say from experience that I've only had déjà vu during some of the most mundane moments: relaxing at home, sitting in class at school, finishing out my day at work...not exactly epic memories in my life.

Now for my deep thoughts on this topic. Theoretically, if this is in fact a form of premonition, and at that moment, you can distinctly recall having that occurrence, I'm wondering why we can not predict it before it happens. Lets look at the facts again. First, you need to previously have visualized the inevitable event, primarily in a dream state. Next, quite simply, the event occurs. Finally, you acknowledge that said event was not the first time it had occurred, physically or not. So with all of this in mind, wouldn't it be rational to believe you could extract that moment from your memory before it "re"-occurs, and you would then know it's about to happen before it does? That's just following logic. This does open up the potential possibility of altering the events that have then been deemed "predictable", so to speak, which is far too in-depth of a topic to get into without straying from the point. It is still a factor that would need to be considered if the anticipation was possible. The question remains unanswered: why can we not predict the event even though we can confirm it is familiar after the fact? I don't know if there will ever be an answer to that. At least not one that holds water.

My last interest on this matter is a little more philosophical. So let's chalk déjà vu up as nothing more than coincidence or something like it. Is it something that is just part of being human, or is there a higher power involved? For those of you that are reading this that have faith in any one of a number of religions, you have to consider this as something that a higher being could control. The same goes for individuals that believe in extraterrestrials having an influence over our thoughts. The overall idea is that this could be viewed as a sign from these entities. What does this sign mean, you ask? Who knows? It could be a way for them to acknowledge your faith in their existence, or maybe they're just extremely bored and this is a way to screw with your head to keep themselves entertained. The latter actually seems like the most likely scenario in this instance. Hell, if I had the power to control someone's thoughts that way, I'd have some real fun with it. I'd make sure to do it so a person remembers stepping on a heaping pile of dog crap at an outdoor wedding, or when their pants split at work with six hours left on their shift...you know, moments that are already memorable in themselves, but would benefit from that extra bit of peculiarity that makes it stand out.

I'd make him remember this moment...twice.

It's pretty safe to say that nobody will ever know how or why déjà vu takes place, unless that's something we discover post-mortem (which also truly depends on your beliefs on afterlife). All I can say though is that it has certainly happened to me several times before, and...

...wait a minute...I feel like I've done this before...

False alarm. This post is different from the previous ones I've done.

Whew...that was a close one.

D.

Ream-ember When I Used To Write?

I started this blog over two years ago and had approximately 100 posts. I was posting on nearly an everyday basis. It kept me busy, it was a good release to get my thoughts out there to share with everyone (and by "everyone", I mean the select few that actually read this), and it made me strive for more things to write about.

Then life happened...

   1) My most recent ex didn't like that I wrote a blog. She made that explicitly clear to me, and even without a shred of a valid reason why, she nagged me to the point that it wasn't worth the aggravation of listening to her make a big deal of it anymore.

   2) My roommate decided to move back up north, which forced me into the choice of where I would live and who I would live with. Decision made: stayed down here, found a one bedroom apartment, and I chose to live alone.

   3) Although my full time job is enough to cover the living expenses (especially since I was recently promoted), I needed to take on a second job to help eliminate my debt. (See http://reaming-and-writing.blogspot.com/2012/09/crazy-btch-sessions-pt-ii.html for more on that.) This summer, I had about six or seven days off from both jobs. I was able to visit the beach (less than a mile from my apartment, by the way) three of those days. I haven't had time for car maintenance, doctor/dentist/eye appointments, or quite simply just time to relax.

   4) I found someone special to spend time with in the few instances I have said time. We both seem to make each other happy, and to her and I, that's all that matters.

These are what have prevented me from delivering my messages and telling my stories on here, but that will be changing. I've finally been given reduced hours at the second job. My lady friend and I don't always have schedules that align, so there will be free time after work every so often. I've been gathering plenty of material over the time of my absence from writing (which has now surpassed a full year, unfortunately), so there is a lot to share.

Some examples of topics you may encounter upon your visits:

   1) Grocery Self-Checkout 101

   2) Domestic Violence In Major Sports

   3) Incredible Netflix Finds

   4) Bringing Back Words & Phrases

This is just a sampling of what is to come. All I can tell you is...

...the reamer is back.

D.